Posted in Life, Love, Poetry, Tanka, Uncategorized

Little Things are Big Things Too

My life is so full

Of here and now and before

I learned to value

Little things of sentiment

No one else could understand

©️2019 CSNelson, dontforgetthehalf

Inspired by:
Daily Word Prompt: sentiment

Posted in Grief, Life, Uncategorized

My Life…..After Death

“There are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same, and time is divided into two parts – before this and after this.”

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That moment in my life occurred June of 2016. I boarded this plane to NY with the intention of spending quality time with my mother. I was so excited because we’d planned to discuss her moving to be closer to me. I flew into JFK, hopped in a taxi, pulled up to the house, opened the door, called for my mother and announced myself in normal fashion, but quickly realized NOTHING would be as normal as before this.

Since that day I’ve been living two lives. There’s the one where I smile and pretend everything is ok. Then there’s the other that suffers in silence while my heart is slowly shred to pieces. Recovering from the loss of my mom is an ongoing battle. I’ve learned to function in a life of new normals. When folks speak of a “bereavement period” we tend to think days, weeks, or months.; however, the grief of losing a loved one you’re close to could last a lifetime. My mother was my best friend, my confidante, my cheerleader, my guidance counselor, my teacher….the list could go on. She was also all of those things to my son, so my heart aches for him, as well.

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I’ve learned to channel my mother in how I live my life; a life that’s taken on a deeper purpose and is truly lived doing and not just being. I am grateful and thank God for every day I open my eyes and for each and every experience I have above ground.

©2019 CSNelson, dontforgetthehalf

Posted in Life, Love, Poetry, Uncategorized

Forever Love

I spoke words of love
I knew you could hear my voice
Your response was silent, just for now

I felt your movement
A foot sweeping, arms stretched out
You can’t reach me, just for now

It’s a feeling like no other
Loving you sight unseen
Somewhat a stranger, just for now

Sunrise and sunset, played on repeat
I feel the rhythm, timing is perfect
More pain than pleasure, just for now

Your voice, loud and clear
Tears, you can’t find me
A moment of separation, just for now

One look, one touch
Love ignited at life’s perfection
My son, my best friend, forever
pregnant

©2019 CSNelson, dontforgetthehalf