Posted in Amusement, Fiction, Humor, Prompt, stories, Uncategorized

Lost at The Garden (fiction)

“Two rights, a left at the garden and a half mile past the bronze statue.” According to my uncle, these are the directions from his house to the library. TWO RIGHTS…LEFT AT THE GARDEN…PAST STATUE. He sounded so confident and so, I was too until the left turn at the garden put me on a dead end road into a cemetery. At that moment I felt like a lamb to the slaughter and immediately realized I was lost. When I called my uncle to tell him the situation, he just couldn’t understand where I went wrong because his directions were perfect. He put on this whole performance, talking about how I never listen and I must’ve made a wrong turn, etc. Again he repeated, “Two rights, left at the garden and half mile past the bronze statue.” Getting nowhere with him, I decided to head back to his house and that’s when I finally saw it. On the corner before the community garden was a small floral shop called “The Garden.” Believing it wasn’t just coincidental, I turned down that street, came upon the bronze statue and finally found the library. Yeah, I guess I really don’t listen!


©️2021 CSNelson, Don’t Forget the Half

Posted in Amusement, Humor, Life, Prompt, Quotes

🤷🏽‍♀️Welp!

You are never too old to change your mind, adjust your attitude, or decide to just say “f**k it.”


©️2021 CSNelson, Don’t Forget the Half

Posted in Amusement, Humor, Life, Prompt, stories

Slow Down, Dave!

photo by Miles Loewen via Unsplash

Dave is usually assiduous when it comes to the new car he got for his birthday but his behavior today was so undignified, loudly bragging about the vehicle’s horsepower and how fast he drives to work. He must’ve forgotten about the icy roads when he drove off at such ridiculously high speeds and slid across the road. It looked bad from my point of view and I’ll confer with him tomorrow but hopefully the trauma of spinning out is enough to slow him down from now on.


©️2021 CSNelson, Don’t Forget the Half

Posted in Amusement, Fiction, Humor, Life, Prompt, stories, Uncategorized

The Science Fair

When it was Dennis’ turn to present his science project, the teacher’s reaction was underwhelming. There were a great variable of projects in the classroom and on the surface, his papier-mâché volcano was no big thrill. The teacher scowled and said, “Surely you’re capable of doing better than this!” Dennis immediately cringed as the other kids began laughing at him. At that moment he wished he could become invisible. The teacher’s foible of being mean to students clearly had gone too far this time. Straining to see through his tears, Dennis slowly returned to his seat, while the children continued to poke fun at him.

When class was dismissed Dennis stayed behind, standing right outside the classroom door as his teacher closely examined the kid’s science projects one last time. And that’s when it happened! Dennis pressed the detonator button on a tiny remote and his volcano erupted, spewing “lava” all over the teacher’s beautiful flower patterned dress.


©️2021 CSNelson, Don’t Forget the Half

Posted in Amusement, Fiction, Humor, Prompt, stories, Uncategorized

Payback is a (You Know What)

The police are questioning every employee hoping at least one of them can share details about the bank robbery. Meanwhile, forensic experts are combing the property for any criminal evidence that may help them identify the perpetrators but no matter how sanguine the investigators appear, it doesn’t look promising. The bank manager is a pompous jerk so it really could’ve been any of the many customers or former employees he’s offended. Right now he’s sitting in his office looking stoic but everyone knows he’s scared. He must be trying to figure out how to spin this to the execs, who were standing about a yard from his office door. It’s funny to watch him cower at the mere sight of them. For ten years it’s been my dream to watch him get fired for his incompetence and today my wait may be over. My plan is working like a charm!


©️2021 CSNelson, Don’t Forget the Half