“There are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same, and time is divided into two parts – before this and after this.”
That moment in my life occurred June of 2016. I boarded this plane to NY with the intention of spending quality time with my mother. I was so excited because we’d planned to discuss her moving to be closer to me. I flew into JFK, hopped in a taxi, pulled up to the house, opened the door, called for my mother and announced myself in normal fashion, but quickly realized NOTHING would be as normal as before this.
Since that day I’ve been living two lives. There’s the one where I smile and pretend everything is ok. Then there’s the other that suffers in silence while my heart is slowly shred to pieces. Recovering from the loss of my mom is an ongoing battle. I’ve learned to function in a life of new normals. When folks speak of a “bereavement period” we tend to think days, weeks, or months.; however, the grief of losing a loved one you’re close to could last a lifetime. My mother was my best friend, my confidante, my cheerleader, my guidance counselor, my teacher….the list could go on. She was also all of those things to my son, so my heart aches for him, as well.
I’ve learned to channel my mother in how I live my life; a life that’s taken on a deeper purpose and is truly lived doing and not just being. I am grateful and thank God for every day I open my eyes and for each and every experience I have above ground.
©2019 CSNelson, dontforgetthehalf
Don't Forget the Half 
So sorry to hear of your loss. Mothers cannot be replaced – the hole is permanent.
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Thank you. It most certainly is.
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